Sunday, August 29, 2004

If Kerry Were a Republican

A family member emailed this to me. It originally came from Midwest Pundits.

The strange, parallel world of John Kerry floats along with little intruding on its feeling of self-importance and entitlement. It might be said that all presidential candidates have a bit of strangeness about them, but Kerry goes beyond the caricatures that have been created of those from the past. He, or rather his wife, is exceedingly rich, at a level of which few can even dream. His ancestral line can be traced back to the Pilgrims of the seventeenth century. He was educated in private, expensive schools. He is the “champion” of a party that likes to consider itself the defender of the little people. A strange brew indeed.

A person can’t help but to wonder how John Kerry and those supporting him would be treated if fortune were to shake the world and John Kerry were to land on his feet as a solid Republican. Some ideas:

1. John Kerry would be vilified as a war criminal based upon his own words regarding his conduct in the Vietnam War.

2. He would be mocked for having the vanity and foresight to take a movie camera with him to war in order to record heroic images of himself walking about with a weapon.

3. The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth would be booked solid from now until the election day on “news” shows with Katie Couric, the folks at 60 Minutes, Chris Matthews, Paula Zahn, Harry Smith, etc.

4. He would be peppered with sarcastic questions regarding his choice of women. What are the chances that a man would fall in love two times in his life, first with a woman whose family was worth $300 million and second with a woman with a net worth of possibly $1 billion? That he was a “kept” man would always run beneath the surface of any such questions and stories.

5. Pictures of the multi-million dollar mansions (all five of them) of which he calls home and the jet and watercraft which he calls toys would flood the airways.

6. He would be derided for his stiff, patrician mannerisms, his well-coiffed hair and his obvious use of either medicine or the services of a plastic surgeon to keep the face as tight as possible.

7. Theresa Heinz-Kerry would not be considered a breath of fresh air, but instead would be thought a kook and a pretentious one at that.

8. We would have many in-depth reports of the deleterious effects of one George Soros on American Politics. The nefarious manner in which he earned his billions, though they might be legal, would be much reported and condemned.

9. Michael Moore would be in Vietnam, searching for and interviewing the family of the wounded Vietcong that Kerry shot in the back to win his Silver Star.

10. Sandy Berger would be in seclusion and John Kerry would find no relief from the blistering inquiries of a rabid press wondering how Kerry could have as his primary security advisor one who purloined classified documents by hiding them in his trousers and then throwing them away.

If Kerry is one to have nightmares, this might be the scariest. To wake up a Republican and find out that, yes, there is media bias in the world.

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